Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

Do not mistake this submission for the subjection expected of us towards governing authorities (Romans 13:1-4 ). What is fitting in the Lord is that the wife sets forth the example of submission that every member of the body of Christ is to practice towards one another. (Note the same word is used in Ephesians 5:21, 22 ). The wife submits to her husband in his special role, as the one accountable to the Lord for her and the family, as their provider, and protector (Ephesians 5:23 ). To submit is to practice loving sensitivity, loving co-operation and loving service. This lifestyle glorifies the Lord. "Fitting in the Lord" may well imply that the wife is not expected to submit to anything that would conflict with obedience to God. (Acts 4:19 ), or to agreement with evil (Acts 5:9 ). The wife's Christ centred submission distinguishes the godly home from others, and contributes to the harmony that discordant homes envy.

Colossians 3:19 "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."

The husband is to express love (agapao). That is unselfish and sacrificial - a caring, cherishing love like that of Christ for the Church (Ephesians 5:25 ). He is to be an example in the fulfilment of the new commandment of John 13:34 . In his love to his wife he reveals his discipleship to the Lord Jesus (John 13:35 ). The most personal relationship in the home, that of husband and wife, demonstrates obedience to the new commandment. To fail there, how is it possible to be faithful in keeping the commandment in the wider fellowship of believers?

A love for the wife that promotes her welfare and well being and worth, not only deepens and enriches the personal relationship, it proclaims relationship to the Lord. The opposite of Christlike love to the wife, is being harsh with her - or bitter against her. "Against" may imply bitterness without any cause. Regrettably this is too often the case. It is important to allow no room for bitterness.

Hebrews 12:15 "looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;"

Bitterness is the breeding ground for jealousy, joylessness, injury and immorality, and breaks relationship with the Lord.

Colossians 3:20 "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

This is a word particularly for Christian children of Christian parents, for the obedience is based on it being "well pleasing to the Lord." This would have no appeal in an ungodly home. "In all things" implies that the children are taught in all things that please the Lord. A pattern for teaching and method of instruction is given in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 . Parents faithful in word and example, making the Lord a part of the "all things" of daily experiences, can develop in their children a desire to please the Lord by obeying them.

Colossians 3:21 "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

Fathers have a special responsibility in training and discipline of their children. Raising children is not easy - to chastise in love is an art that is learned from example of the only perfect Father - God. (Hebrews 12:5 ). The discipline of God is always carried out with the Father-Son relationship before him.

Hebrews 12:7 "... God dealeth with you as with sons; ..."

God our Father disciplines with our profit in mind - and our being "partakers of His holiness" (Hebrews 12:10 KJV). Whatever else that means, we know that God is preparing and training us to spend eternity with Him. The end result being spiritual excellence - pure conduct - performed in a spirit of gracious peace (Hebrews 12:11 ). So with the highest aims in mind, the Christian father seeks to emulate his heavenly Father. Endeavouring always to encourage, not discourage his children, avoiding discipline out of frustration and anger, but dealing with them in a child honouring way, to form Christian character and develop their natural and spiritual gifting.